I never understood diabetes until I was diagnosed with it 25 years ago. And diabetics don’t expect that you would understand it either. I laugh when people think it means I have to eat angel food cake, need some juice, or will one day outgrow it.
This is not a blog of bitterness towards who those who treat me differently, don’t understand it, or naively think they can relate. This is a blog to encourage those with a chronic illness or disease. And this is a blog to help those of you who don’t have one better understand the ones that do.
Since I’m a diabetic, let me start there.
Quick definition: Diabetes is a deficiency in your pancreas to produce insulin. Without insulin, your food is not converted to nutrients, so it turns to sugar and settles on the walls of your blood vessels. This disease causes blindness, foot loss, and kidney failure.
There are two types of diabetics:
Type 1 diabetics have a pancreas that no longer produces insulin. It requires injections of insulin to be able to survive. This is what I have.
Type 2 diabetics have a pancreas that produces some insulin but needs some help – weight loss, medication, and exercise can all be part of the process.
But whether you have diabetes, or any other form of life altering illness or disease, many of us feel the same. Can I confess a few things?
I have to think about it ALL the time.
And it’s exhausting. Because I have to monitor my carbs, blood sugar, insulin dosages, and activity, I must always be aware of what to do in an emergency. Do I have food near me in case my blood sugar gets low? Do I have enough insulin with me if I’m traveling? If I run with my kids or play a round of golf, will I be ok? Do I have medication just in case?
I feel like a failure most of the time.
When I have to check my blood sugar all the time, it’s like getting a performance review at work every 3 hours. And 60% of the time I am failing. Doing a finger stick and putting blood on a strip to check it is the easy part (don’t get me wrong, it’s not fun). The hard part is always wondering if my levels are good. And if they are not, what do I need to do?
It can be very lonely.
When everyone is offering me cake and cookies I think, “I could, but I shouldn’t.” When people are going on mission trips, or even just a weekend away, without having to worry about where the nearest hospital is or if I have enough food and glucose with me, it reminds me that I’m the only one thinking this way. As much as my family sympathizes, I’m still on my own.
I think about heaven a lot.
Not that I’m ready to go today, but I think about a world where God’s perfection reigns, where there is no more diabetes, cancer, lupus, miscarriages, MS, Alzheimer’s and the like. This is when I remember the one who left heaven to identify with my humanity. And it makes me appreciate and love Jesus even more.
Jesus once said, “In this world, you will have trouble, but take heart – I have overcome the world.” John 16:33
This world is not my home, but while I wait, Jesus walks with me.
So if you have a friend with diabetes, a chronic illness or disease, the best thing you can do is treat them normal, sympathize when you can, pray for their peace, and show them that there is a God who will one day make all things new.
Thank you for sharing Rusty, I needed this. Recently my dad was diagnosed with white matter diseases, due to years of uncontrolled high blood pressure. This disease basically ages the brain, it causes slow thought process and balance issues just to name a few symptoms. While there is also no cure for this disease it can be contained by controlling the cause of it (high blood pressure). My father now has to take his blood pressure 4 times a day and take high blood pressure medication. It too has caused our family to be more attentive to his needs. I’ve stepped up to ensure both my parents eat a healthier diet. It’s not easy but we are all doing our part to keep his condition as normal as possible, please pray for him to come to terms with the new normal.
Thank you Rusty, for sharing your feelings about your illness. I’ve know for years you are diabetic, but it’s true, I had not thought about all of the planning you had to do daily. It reminds me to pray for this part of your life as well as the ministry. Thank you for all you do!
Peggy Parkinson
Got to toughen up! Been type 1 for 33 years.
Take control over the disease, by your mind being smarter than a pancreas. It is not easy, but don’t sell yourself short! You can take insulin at any time.. Same goes for eating… You have a monitor… It is not impossible, you are actually stronger mentally, 10 times over than anyone who has never dealt with are disease. 🙂
Thank you for sharing such a private part of yourself with us. I don’t know what it’s like to have a chronic disease; my biggest health problem involves my knee. But I have met many people with health issues that they must deal with throughout their entire lives. It seems to become second nature for them and it becomes simply another aspect of their lives.
Something I recently saw on Facebook… “What defines us is how well we rise, after falling.” Rusty, you could have let your diabetes defeat you, but you didn’t. You rose up to become an enormously effective and inspiring Christian pastor.
Further, you said, “As much as my family sympathizes, I’m still on my own.” Then you go on to say, “This world is not my home, but while I wait, Jesus walks with me.” …If Jesus walks with you, how can you possibly be on your own?
There must be many others with the same feelings and fears as yours. Hopefully, your words will encourage them to open up about their own personal challenges, so that they can find the strength of Jesus and rise up as well.
Solid write up. Appreciate your last point a lot. In thinking about our ultimate home, I’m often reminded of John 14:1-3 and especially Rev. 21:1-4.
Thank you Rusty. As a parent of a 4 year old Type 1 Diabetic, I’m always grateful when somebody uses their public platform to promote awareness and education. Also it helps to remind me that we are not alone and others are walking our same path.