The older my kids get the more I realize that no matter what I tell them, there are somethings they won’t believe till they have kids of their own.  Probably because I didn’t believe it either.  So as an aid to parents who may want to share this with their kids and say “See… I told you so…” Here goes.

1. I used to be cool.

Maybe not Jake from Sixteen Candles or Emilio from Breakfast Club… but I had my day.  I had friends, and fun, and people actually enjoyed me.  And yes, they thought I was funny – not corny.  I’m trying hard not to be the old guy with black socks and sandals, and maybe I do need to shave my ears once in a while, but I used to be as cool as you.

2.  You’re more like me than you think.

You don’t want to admit it, but we are related.  And thus you have my DNA.  The way you deal with anger. The way you roll your eyes. The frustration with the limits I place on you. Your constant feeling of being right. Guess where that came from? Yep. One day you’ll look in the mirror and see me!  One day you’ll say things to your kids and you’ll think I’ve somehow possessed you.  Your welcome.

3. I really want the best for you.

Limiting your tech time, making you go over your homework one more time, teaching you how to look your best, telling you stories about “when I was your age”… all of this is an effort for you to be your best self.  I don’t want you to be just like me. I’m not asking you to be like your  “more successful friends”, I just want the very best for you.  And by that I mean this – minimize regrets.  You’ll make enough bad decisions, you’ll have enough pain, the world is broken enough to guarantee that. But if I can help you minimize your regrets, you’ll sleep better, parent better, and live better when you are my age.

4. I may not “get it”… or “understand”… but I’m willing to learn.

I know there are times you shut down because you think – “There’s no way you’d understand”. And you’re right.  I was never cyber bullied.  I never level of pressure you have today.  But I’m willing to listen. Help me understand what it’s like to be you. Walk me through your world.  Help me help you. (Another movie reference you may not know:))

5.  When I say I love you. I mean it.

These aren’t just words we say when we leave the house. These aren’t just sentiments we express.  I truly have an unconditional love for you.  You may disappoint me. You may hurt me. You may break trust with me. But you will never loose my love.  I gave you life and I’d give my life for you.  And if somehow you’d see that, then maybe you’d believe that there is a God who feels that same way about you.  Don’t let my faults and mistakes cause you to ever question my love for you. And don’t let my limitations as a parent every taint your understanding of God as the perfect parent.

My prayer is our kids could grasp some of this… especially the last ones. But what about you? What do you wish your kids knew about you?