Recently I heard my daughter complain, “My iPad is so old that I have to swipe to get it to open.” Please pray for her plight.
As much as I teased her about this, I do the same thing. “Why can’t I have a better car?” “How come I don’t get those opportunities”, “My life is so rough, all the buttons on my T.V. remote won’t work.” Oh the humanity!
Entitlement is more than just complaining, it’s a hidden belief that I deserve something I’m not getting. It’s the thought that someone, somewhere, probably God, is dishing out the blessings, and I haven’t received my fair share.
Recently I read the book “The Entitlement Cure” by the psychologist, leadership expert and bestselling author Dr. John Townsend. You may recognize his name from the bestselling book “Boundaries,” co–authored with Henry Cloud. For those of you who have ever thought “my kids are so spoiled” or “they have no idea how good they have it” or “when did they get so entitled,” I highly recommend this book. For those of you who feel they may have inherited this from you, I highly recommend this book. And for all who need to read this book, but don’t have time, let me do you the courtesy of summarizing it for you here.
The entitlement cure rests on changing your words from “I DESERVE” to “I AM RESPONSIBLE”.
The various things we tell ourselves such as, “I deserve to be happy,” “I deserve to have a great marriage,” or “I deserve to have respectful kids,” keep us in the entitlement trap our entire lives and never bring the results we are looking for.
However, when you change your thoughts and conversation to “I’m responsible for my own happiness,” “I’m responsible for a loving marriage,” or “I am the one responsible to teach my kids how to be respectful” then suddenly the ball is in your court.
Now, I’ll be honest, this takes more work and this is more difficult than just sitting around complaining, but the rewards are far greater.
Again, this is a great book and you should read it, but then again, you barely had time to read this entire blog! ☺
For those who want more information about breaking the cycle of entitlement with kids, check out this blog.