Last week I shared what parents wish their kids knew about them so to be fair, I should share what kids wish their parents knew.
Granted, it’s been awhile since I was a kid. But I have two kids who make it clear what I don’t know. And I happen to be in a profession where I get to hear a lot of people share their lists of what they wish someone else knew. So here’s what they have to say.
Things are different today than in “your day.”
Every time you start by comparing your growing up years with mine, we tune out. You seem to like saying, “Well back in my day,” or probably at least thinking it. Maybe in an effort to not sound super old you may mix up the “lingo,” but I’m guessing you still assume you get it because you think you lived it. But things are different today. Thanks to social media, the internet, and the smart phone we have access to bad news all the time. We get a steady stream of terrorist attacks, pandemic threats, and cyberbulling 24/7. You can’t tell me you had that. You just escaped it all by leaving school, or leaving home, or going to the arcade. We can’t. You can take away our phones, and maybe we should look at them less, but we know that all the bad news is waiting for us the minute we can access it again.
Telling me to “calm down” or “get over it” may not be enough.
Sure, we may get caught up in “teenage drama”, but studies are showing that the amount of stress that we are facing before we even leave high school is the same level of stress most of you wouldn’t have experienced until middle age. The crazy pressure to get good grades, get into college, be popular, deal with an unstable world … all while living on social media … can be overwhelming. Plus today, more of us kids are wrestling with a variety of mental, physical, and emotional barriers – from Asperger’s to ADHD to phobias and broken homes.
I still need boundaries.
Yes, we tell you we want our freedom, but deep down we really know that when you place boundaries around us, it’s because you love us. We know rules to protect us are ways you show you care. We want you to trust us and we know that trust has to be earned, but we get it that the rules are there to protect us.
I need to know you’re my biggest fan.
Okay, sometimes we act like we don’t care, but the truth is we crave knowing at least one person – hopefully two – are always in our corner. This doesn’t mean you always have to agree with us or even bail us out all the time, but it should mean that you always want what’s best for us. We want you to celebrate when we celebrate, cry when we cry.
So there you have it; that’s what kids want their parents to know. And in the end, we as parents always wonder, “Am I doing a good job?” I know I wonder. At those times I like to lean on something I heard as quoted by Dr. James Dobson, “The average kid can handle the average mistakes from the average parent.” Praise God for that.